Saturday, March 12, 2016

Choice



The choices that you make in life will affect all those around you!

Every morning when I wake up I make many choices.

     I thank God for giving me a new day in serving him.
     I thank Him for the beauty that he created.
     I thank Him for giving His son to die on the cross for my sins.

I ask Him to show me wisdom, guidance and strength to handle what the day brings.  I let Him know that I am ready for whatever He has for me.

People make many choices daily - how to dress, what to eat, what am they are going to do for the day.

On this day, March 8, 2016, a little after noon, I saw this week's word.  Little did I know what would transpire from a choice that was made long ago.  Or what choice others would make that day.

For many years I battled depression.  I made many choices as did others that were involved in my life.  I made the choice to beat the battle of depression and lay my life completely down for Christ on January 2015,  but I had no idea how my choices had affected others, nor did I remember many of the choices that I did make.

I was very grateful that my son and his wife had made a choice that let me babysit my granddaughter.  On one particular day, there was left on the table a sheet of paper with a password. I had allowed my past to seep into my head and made a choice to check it out.  The password worked.  I quickly logged out and went on with my day and made the choice to not log in again.

There have been many trials in my life because of choices made in the past.  Come May 2015 my babysitting days were gone, not because of my choice in January, but by choices I was not really sure of.  Feeling vulnerable, sad, and confused I made another choice.  I tried logging into that account again.  When the computer came back the password was incorrect so I left it alone.

Now over a year later, I came across a very unkind conversation between two women that was very hurtful and damaging.  I  made a choice to copy the conversation and thought upon it.  I made a choice to let it go.  My choice was to lean on Jesus and let him handle the whole thing.

Now when confronted I made another choice.

When asked by my sister about the conversation I told her the truth about what had happened in January and May of 2015.  She than made a choice and said something to my son.  "In the past I would have made the choice to lie, not this time as I know that choice can hurt someone."

My son and his wife made a choice, and that choice is that I will no longer be involved in their lives or the lives of my granddaughters. I was even told by my daughter-in-law that she had never liked me in the 7 years that she has known me.  My son made the choice to tell me that if I was not his mom, I would not even be his friend.

I know that the old me would be angry and cause so much more damage.  I also have thought "Why be honest, that truly got me no-where either." I so know that is not true.  I made my choice to lean on God.  He has truly been here for me.  I am so amazed as to how I am doing.  The gift that the Lord has given to me knowing the He has promised this.
I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace.  In this world you will have troubles.  But take Heart for I have over come the world. (John 16:33)
I know that the choice I made impacted so many and for them to make choices that they have.  I know that the negative of all this is not of God.  I know that my choice in 2015 was in bad judgement.  I know that my choice to be honest about having the password was the right one.  I would not change that.

As these last few days have been hard for me, as my son celebrated his 28th birthday that I was not a part of.  I will never stop loving him, his wife or children.  Just as I know that the Lord will never stop loving me or them.

I will never go back to being negative.  I look at this as the strength the Lord has put inside of me.  I am not going to let the choice of others change what the Lord has given to me.  I have been filled with the Holy Spirit.

I have learned so much during this time of trial.  I will never regret making God my choice.

God made many choices by giving us promises and by giving us free will to be able to make the choice to believe in his promises.  Here are a few in-which he presented to me during this time. 
I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”  (Genesis 28:15)
I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (John 11:28-30

I know that if I went back to my old ways, I would feel as if the world was blaming me and looking for the "woe-is-me" attitude.  I look back at those 37 years of life and realize that I was so unhappy and would make a choice to stay in the negative thinking.  Times when I thought I was happy I was not.  I have felt so much joy, peace and contentment during all of this.

The Lord showed me as I read James 1:12-25 what my choice means. I know all too well how just taking what you hear or read can lead one to just shoot out words without thinking.  I made a choice not to be tempted or blame God for giving me the temptation.  I fell into the temptation over a year ago not knowing what it would have brought in the last few days.  I know my new life lead me to make the choice to lean on him.  I know that I am blessed.  Even as I type right now, I am sad that others have made the choices that they have.  How my choice and theirs will affect the choice of others as well.  Through Christ I will have the freedom he promised me.

He even reminds us:
Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever. So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.  (Hebrews 10:32-36)
As I continue with my CHOICE and live by the laws of the Lord, I will continue to receive his promise of having Joy.  What I have felt over the last few days knowing the choices of my son and his wife to not allow me to be a part of  their lives along with my granddaughters has been peaceful.  I know that the Lord will watch over them and keep them safe.

Never before did I ever realize how a choice could hurt others so deeply.  I know and have learned that my choice is GOD!

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving to us your promises.  I ask that you show me wisdom in every step that I take, show me the path that you want  me to follow.  Look after all those that I love.  Guide those that enter into my life, I ask for the knowledge to be able to help them in the way that you know they need to be.  I am walking on this earth not for me but for you and what you have to offer. 
      That is my CHOICE!

In Jesus name I pray.

Amen