Wednesday, April 27, 2016


I am always hopeful that each passing day will bring:
  1. My children's hearts closer to God.
  2. My Children finding the true meaning of forgiveness.
  3. No stress for me just because I slept an extra 15 minutes.
  4. Peace for Our Country.
For most of my life, I had hope. The difference then was that I had a negative hope. Remaining hopeful takes a lot of work. I spent a lot of time being pessimistic.

I was just running this through my mind and this is what came to me.

Have you ever had a day that you just wanted something to go your way?

Or you hope and hope for something and you just feel as if you will never get it?

How many spend their lives being hopeful...
  1. That the pain in their legs will go away.
  2. That for just one night they can go to bed and that restless leg syndrome will just stay tucked away and let you sleep.
  3. That the headaches will go away.
  4. That someone will notice .........
I know that many try to remain hopeful in their lives, in order to catch a break and just have everything go right.

God knows what we want and what is good for us. Here is a completely different thought...

Was Jesus ever Hopeful?

For the day each and every one of us would find peace and trust in his Father, God?

Did Jesus hope for anything while He was on this earth?

I know that I will always have real hope, because my hope will not be set on earthly things.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 3:2)
Many seem to have lost sight altogether of the truth that hope is something more than the result of things, when it is a gift and a grace. We need to continue to have hope for all the promises of God, hope for the enjoyment of Him, hope for the things that are not seen, that our future, difficult, though possible to be enjoyed, hope for heaven and eternal happiness.

Hopeful in one another, even if others have stopped being hopeful.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. (Romans 8:24-25)

Liking up with Karen and others for the Tuesday at Ten.

A Faith Filled Heart: A Faith Filled Heart: 'Time' Tuesday @ Ten

A Faith Filled Heart: A Faith Filled Heart: 'Time' Tuesday @ Ten: A Faith Filled Heart: 'Time' Tuesday @ Ten : This is so funny.  I write out most always my post, I don't just hop on in and star...

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

A Faith Filled Heart: 'Time' Tuesday @ Ten

A Faith Filled Heart: 'Time' Tuesday @ Ten: This is so funny.  I write out most always my post, I don't just hop on in and start typing.  It would be nice if I could do that, but i...

'Time' Tuesday @ Ten

This is so funny.  I write out most always my post, I don't just hop on in and start typing.  It would be nice if I could do that, but it is what it is.....

I can come up with these little things.....

Some-days I find myself just standing in one spot, staring into the air.  Why do you ask?

In all honesty I don't know.  I know that this is what I think almost always.  NO I am not crazy  lol

I will wonder what am I doing just standing here?
I will ask myself aloud - "what are you doing - you complain you don't have enough time to get stuff done - no wonder - look at you - right now - just standing her wasting time."

Now that I think about it I do it a lot.  More times than I want to admit I am sure.  All is good.  However, as I am tying this right now I do believe that I am OUT of TIME for this post.

I missed the deadline.  I am typing this anyway.  See I was in the emergency room on Sunday night, we went again last night.  Last night I was thinking.  Ok I will write my post and get it in tomorrow.  NOT, !!! Well maybe.

We always do things in our time.  I know that I used to always just go to God in my times of sorrow or pain, yet never really when I was having a good day.  That is in the past now.  I go to him for everything.  Thanking him, praising him.

On July 30, 2015 during my amazing Online Bible study I was given the following verse.
Let us than approach God's throne of Grace with Confidence, so that you, Christy may receive Mercy and find Grace to help you Christy in your TIME of need.  Hebrew 4:16 (NIV)
The power behind that verse for me was completely life changing.  On that day, July 30, 2015 my dad had a feeding tube put in, his health was failing.  We were told we would have about 8 years with my dad.  On this day his life took a drastic turn.  On October 23, 2015 completely unexpectedly my dad passed away.  This was very hard for me, I knew though that it was Gods TIME to bring him home.  At the same TIME I was leaving in 3 days to go to Israel.  I did not know how this verse was connected until after I returned home and at the right TIME of my life I completely surrendered to God and where did I do that at his Throne, I went with Confidence, received the Mercy and found Grace all during the TIME of my need with the passing of my father.  It was hard for me to go on this trip, the Lord had me book the trip back in January.   I promised God that I would do what he wanted of me and I knew that my dad was excited for me.  So I went and during that TIME I was Honoring Both of my Father's in Heaven.

The Lord now has all of my TIME!!!!!  

Please come on over I am linking up with Karen Tuesday at Ten.

Monday, April 18, 2016

'L M N' A to Z Blog Challenge

Good Evening Everyone,

                I would like to start off by saying that this sure has been a challenge.  No so much as the challenge itself, its all the craziness that went on around me.  Finishing the taxes, having to deal with computer issue.  I have been using computers for over 30 years.  Never have I encountered what I have been so far this year.  With all that being said, as you most know I have fallen a bit behind. 
I am going to take this time to catch up.  If my memory serves me right  we are on the letter:

 I have decided to do Nest:

A Nest is a receptacle that is prepared by a bird as their home.  It starts out as a home for receiving their eggs and young.  There are many types of Nest and they all very by species.
A receptacle prepared by a bird for receiving its eggs and young. Nests differ with species. Eagles use a large heap of coarse sticks and twigs on the cleft of a mountain.
"Does the eagle soar at your command and build its nest on high?                       (Job 39:27 NIV)

 There are many other verses that reference birds and the nest that they make.  Each nest that is made follows the building codes of the one whom will dwell in it.  In the early building stages the bird with hope to another tree less likely to be seen to where she may be able to lay more eggs.  The first biblical reference to a nest of a bird is found in Balaam prophecy: Then he saw the Kenites and he spoke his message:
“Your dwelling place is secure, your nest is set in a rock.  (Numbers 24:21 NIV)

Something I found very interesting about all this is actually the process of building the nest.  It seems to resemble that of how we build and keep our own homes.  We all have codes (rules) that we follow in not just building our homes but as we grow and maintain them.

'O' A to Z Blog Challenge

How I would love to address this issue is I have decided to create art.  This is only for a few of the letters that I have gotten behind in not all of them.

Just Being........

Wednesday, April 13, 2016


A moments Thought!

Do I only matter for the other persons gain?

I want to feel  like I matter?

Know that my feelings count

I want another human to care.

Don't want to feel used.

I find I am seeking to have my needs meet from the human form!

I know GOD cares about my feeling!

I know that GOD knows me better than I know me!

                                                           I know I am loved by GOD!

Do you struggle?

Know this..............
You are not alone.............
Through Jesus Christ............
He Loves you for who YOU are
Not by the things you do

Monday, April 11, 2016


God is so Good!!!!!

Linking up with Karen and others for the Tuesday at Ten. Join me there!

Heart of a Ready Writer: Imaginative – God's character from A to Z

Heart of a Ready Writer: Imaginative – God's character from A to Z

I love this post.  God and his imagination and creativity.  Look at all of us in this  World. He created us in his image and we all have such great imagination and creativity.

Some of us feel that we don't have or we lack being an artist we can't draw we can't paint or writing we can write but maybe our words don't flow like someone who really can write.

Our society alone look at the inventions in the way our world has changed from a typewriter were you would use liquid to write out a mistake and put it lined it back up in a typewriter no telephone we got mail by a horse and I think sometimes that was even faster than normal these days.

I hope that you all have a wonderful God Blessed Day!

'D' A to Z Challenge Day 4

 Hello,  I am excited that you are here.  If you are just joining my blog and this page being your first stop please continue to read, if you would like a little more history please click here and read "Captive"  

      Originally this "D" was to continue on with my life story.  It will just not in the same manner that it was originally.  See since January I have struggled with major computer issues.  Coming to find out that I had a hacker.  Well long story short, this hacker has complicated my life tremendously.  To the point that all last week Taxes kept me "Captive"  WOW!!!!

With that all being said here is my      "D"...........

I am.........
                   Clara, Harlod, Dee, Ward's        GrandDaughter
                   Clifford & Carolyne's                 Daughter
                   Robert, Penny & Mikeal's          Sister
                        (yes I am the oldest)
                   Benjamin & Zhan's                    Mother
                   Addison & Evelyn's                   Grandmother

     That is the way I have lived my life.  Always being know as a title.  Now I love having the titles.  I would have to say the best to date is 'Gama'... That was how Addison pronounced Grandma for a long while.  I love it......

    Recently, after a long long line of not knowing much of anything I came to realize that in all honesty the best time I have is that 
  I am the DAUGHTER of the KING!!!!
     I never felt that I deserved to be called his Daughter.  I held myself to to many faults that I never realized he had forgiven.

   Finally now that my taxes are done  YA YA!!!!  I came to type in my blog post for A to Z.  Oh Yes I know that tomorrow starts 'J;.

  What I had wrote down is not what I am typing.  In fact, I am typing as it is coming to me.  I wish this was the case always.  Writing would be so easy.   I am so super excited that I am his Daughter, more excited because God gave me amazing wonderful sisters.  They are God's Daughter's too.  

I created this little poster to show how amazing my sisters are and a reminder that They are his Daughter's too.  Now, you may not see everyone's face on this poster I want you to know you were not forgotten.  I love you all, being behind put me to a limit. 

  I truly do not want to hit you all up at once with what I am behind.  So my goal after this post will be to 'E, F, G, H, I, J'  I and I will try and do E & F or J.  It will get confusing.

Thank you all for stopping and being patient with me.  I a excited to be blogging.  I am new and have been doing this for a Month.

I love everyone of you and everyone of you that are not on here as well.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016


I came across this prayer and wanted to share.  I love this.  One of my sons reached out to Todd,  boyfriend, today.  I am so happy.  I have always prayed for them and I will continue every single day!

Back:   Benjamin
Middle: Me
Front: Zhan
Prayer for a loved one that hurts you

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

God is Good!

Thank you Lord for choosing me to be your example.  I ask for your continued guideance in Knowledge and Wisdom.  You are a Good Father and I am Loved by You!  You washed away all my sins and gave me a new Heart.  As I stood on this rock looking over the Sea of Galilee, wondering  WHERE ARE YOU?  I never have to ask that question again.  For I know you will never leave me.  You are so gracious Lord.
In Jesus Name I pray.

Monday, April 4, 2016

"B" is for Benjamin

What does the name Benjamin mean?  That name is actually very popular.  I personally love the name as it is my first born's name.

There are alternative spellings which include Benjamen and Benjamim.  Many common nicknames for Benjamin include Ben, Benny and Benji.  Growing up many called my son Ben. I preferred Benjamin, as that was the name I gave him.  Never would I have nick-named him "Benny" as that reminded me of "Benny Hill", and I was not a fan. Benjie reminded me of the dog! lol.  One of his favorite books was Peter Rabbit.  When he realized Peter's friend's name was Benjamin Bunny he thought he was all so cool.

Benjamin is a name with Hebrew origins.  The meaning of Benjamin is Son of my Right Hand.

Biblical Benjamin
Benjamin was Jacob's last son.  Mother Rachel died after giving birth.  With her last breath she named him Benoni (son of my sorrow), however, Jacob named him Benjamin, (son of my right hand).  Benjamin had ten sons.  Benjamin was blessed by his father to be fruitful.  He was just that, by the 2nd census he could care for 45,600 troops "Numbers 26:41" with Abidon as its prince.  The first allotted land went to the Tribe of Benjamin.  The assigned territory lay just above the tribes of Judah.

Map showing The Tribe of Benjamin


Government Benjamins

One of the most famous Benjamins, Benjamin Franklin, was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. A renowned polymath, Franklin was a leading author, printer, political theorist, politician, freemason, postmaster, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat. As a scientist, he was a major figure in the American Enlightenment and the history of physics for his discoveries and theories regarding electricity. As an inventor, he is known for the lightning rod, bifocals, and the Franklin stove, among other inventions. He facilitated many civic organizations, including Philadelphia's fire department and a university

Benjamin Harrison was the 23rd President of the United States; he was the grandson of the ninth President, William Henry Harrison. Before ascending to the presidency, Harrison established himself as a prominent local attorney, Presbyterian church leader and politician in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Benjamin Netanyahu was born on October 21, 1949, in Tel Aviv, Israel and grew up in Jerusalem. He spent most of his teen years living in the Philadelphia area, where his father, noted Jewish historian Benzion Netanyahu, worked as a professor. In 1967, he returned to Israel to serve in the Israeli Defense Forces' elite unit, "Sayeret Matkal," and took part in a number of military operations, including the dramatic 1972 rescue of a hijacked Sabena passenger jet. Codenamed "Operation Isotope," the rescue was led by future Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak

Sunday, April 3, 2016


April 1, 2016 12:52 a.m.

Jesus Hold Me Now

As I am sitting here in the emergency room,with my boyfriend, Todd, we have spent the last 24 hours being different.

I have to say that I felt and saw a change in him on March 15th. I can't tell what it was - I just know something was off. Now here we sit.

Blood pressure 158 over 105, putting a needle in his arm taking blood. Now the doctor, Todd looks so different. They are taking him down for some x-rays and an ultra sound - thinking gallbladder.? His uncontrollable belching are the same symptoms that I experienced when I had gallstones.

Todd has returned and we are sitting here waiting. As we wait we started talking about the PAST!

On this day April 1, 2008, I sat in a doctors office waiting to talk to a nutritionist. My oldest son Benjamin, home on leave during his tour in Iraq, and my husband at the time, Kit, were at the vet with our German Shepherd, Jasamin. She was 3 when my parents got her for Benjamin - they loved each other so. She is now 17 years old. Being that she is Benjamin's dog my husband and I felt the right thing to do was to let Benjamin make the choice of putting her to sleep. That is what the vet thought was best at her age, and failing kidneys.

Jasamin was a wonderful and amazing dog. She was so good. We all love her. It was a hard choice to make that day.

My son, Benjamin, now 28 years of age, two beautiful daughters, a wonderful kind-hearted loving wife.

Addison Grace, Evelyn Rose & Grandma (me)
Here now 2:25 a.m. we are heading home. Instructions nee a stress test, they will contact us in 72 hours. Call a specialist in regards to the polyp that was detected in his gallbladder. Its funny, yet not funny as we had discussed that just maybe it was his gallbladder. Its good to be home. Though I am still feeling something is not right.

Ok, can this day please get better?!? Now 4:40 a.m. Todd is not doing well. In the bathroom - he explains he just like spit up and was all gross, black and looked like coffee.

Laptop lets see what we can find - praying as I research for this to be nothing. We find "not what I want to see" "Bleeding Ulcer" - On the phone calling the doctor that we just saw, left message, finally those 10 minutes were long. After explaining all that he, the doctor, will consult with another doctor and get back to us. Waiting - oh how I don't like to wait.

Now, 5:00 a.m. call back from the doctor after reviewing the x-ray and ultra sound and consulting his colleage - it very well could be a Ulcer "Bleeding Ulcer".

Todd is now off to the emergency room by himself as we have no idea what was going to happen or how long -so I am home writing my blogs and doing taxes.

Call from Todd, 5:25 a.m. - they are going to admit him and going to run and I.V. with a medication and do a scope to see what they can find. He has to wait until the 'today' doctors come on shift - The doctor said that if surgery is needed it will be done today.

Heavenly Father,
I praise you Father for keeping your promise to love us, to forgive us of our sins. I come to you seeking guidance for the doctors today Lord as they look over Todd and this medical condition going on. For comfort to Todd that this will be ok and we will get through this together all 3 of us.
In Jesus Name I pray

Today has been a strain already, I know that we will get through all this, my Faith shall not be altered. Now, 4:45 p.m. Todd finally getting into a room and going down to have an Upper GI done. Finally, the wait is over.. His stomach is all scratched raw, not real sure why, medication it is, I will try essential oils for sure.

Finally at 8 p.m. home and now it is 11:01 p.m. and I am putting the finishing touches on my blogs (almost).

I spent the time in the PAST reflecting on what was going on in my life 20 years ago today, all during the process of creating a new PAST!

The Past has typically been a negative for me. I just know now that "When you believe in the Lord he forgives us of our sins of the Past and makes you new!

Thank you for stopping by.

Come join me and read some great blogs Tuesday at Ten.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

A - Anguish

It is March 31, 2016 it has been a very long day.  Trying to get taxes completed, not being able to use the computer in the manner I need to for that.  My boyfriend is having this uncontrolled belching.  Oh I so wish it would stop.

As the day went by it just continued to get worse.  I could not concentrate at all.  Finally I heard this peace......Wait .......why.....??????

He comes out of the bathroom just as red as can be.  I asked him what happened.  He was having terrible pains in his chest.  I quickly went to the computer to check out "Heart Attack or Stroke"  nope not that.  So off to the hospital we go.  I could clearly see that he was in anguish.  I was feeling it for him.

After seeing the doctor leaving and arriving home at 2:25 a.m. It just seemed to get worse.  The news of him having a polyp in his gallbladder, and going to have to do a stress test did not make matters any better for him.

It was just a little after 4 in the morning and nothing better.  So he called the doctor and he wanted him to come back in because now we had blood.  He arrived at the hospital at 5:15 now with an I.V. in his arm waiting for a room.

I am truly having a lot of anguish.  I have recently turned my life over to the Lord so I ask the Lord to help guide the doctors, him and me.  I didn't want to feel like this, I did not want for my boyfriend to feel it either.  How can you not when the doctors are talking about a "bleeding ulcer"

Finally at 3:45 this afternoon they got him into a room.  He hunger, and getting crabby as he has not had any sleep.  They got him in for an Upper G.I.  stomach is all tore up.  The doctors are not sure really why, and they don't believe that all his symptoms are related to this either.

We will go in next week to see a specialist regarding his gallbladder.

I could feel my anguish diminish.   I just remembered all day that the Lord had this, doesn't mean I did not still feel the anguish I was just able to focus my energy on believing that God would take care of it.
I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.   Psalm 31:7
Thank you for visiting.